Anger management in young people. Anger is an emotion, a feeling that everyone has to deal with. Anger is accompanied by emotional tension. If you are angry, it increases your blood pressure and your heart will beat faster. This is a natural response of the body to danger.
The ‘danger’ does not always have to be a real threat. It can also be a thought that makes you angry. Focusing your anger on that or that that makes you angry is a natural response that allows you to air your heart. The angry feelings disappear when the threat of danger disappears. Anger is not a ‘bad’ emotion. It is important for yourself and others how you deal with your anger. Let’s see symptoms of Anger management in young people
Anger can come out in various ways. The tension that you feel when you are angry can vary in intensity. You can feel pissed off, irritated, disturbed, angry, angry or furious. You can show your anger in a calm way so that you do not hurt the feelings of another, while still standing up for yourself. Airing your anger can be experienced as a relief in this way. This is also called assertiveness.
It may also be that you are angry, but this does not matter. In such a case, you will often feel powerless and depressed because you do nothing about the situation. Swallowing angry feelings is also called sub-assertiveness. It can also be that you are angry and you express it in a way that you want to hurt or even destroy the other person. This is called aggressiveness. With aggressiveness you defend yourself and you can proceed to the attack.
How does anger arise?
Frustration or hurt You can get angry because something fails or if someone else hurts you. For example, if someone insults you, it can hurt you. You can show that by getting angry. Then you make it clear to the other person that that person has offended you. Airing out your anger is then a way to alleviate your pain. You may also not feel your anger but feel it. In this way, you keep the anger inside so that you will ‘eat-up’ and continue to feel the pain.
Character What you have experienced and what your character plays a part in how you deal with anger. People cannot be placed in a box: how people behave is determined by a mixture of different characteristics. People who are chronically angry often feel deprived and blame others for their difficulties. They are often hot-tempered, hostile or want to be better than the other. It is too painful for them to admit that they themselves also contribute to things that happen. Anger becomes a way of self-defense to avoid the pain of your own mistakes.
See also, Ways to control your anger
People who feel dependent on the appreciation of others are often afraid of getting angry. You feel angry but you think, if you show this, that others will not like you anymore. The anger is often pent up or focused on something else. Restrained people do not dare to let their anger run free, because they feel that they are no longer in control of themselves. Feelings are not expressed, instead, they talk intellectually without showing feelings.
Some people play a role in expressing their anger. After an outburst of anger, someone denies his anger by saying, for example, that he was not himself. Or someone converts their anger into physical complaints. Restrained anger can manifest itself as migraine or heart palpitations. The actual feelings of anger are then expressed as physical complaints.
The environment of Anger management in young people
Education contributes to the way in which someone deals with anger. For example, if you are never corrected by your parents for aggressive behavior, then you can still react “hot-tempered” or aggressive at a later age. Even if parents themselves are often angry or aggressive towards their children, then children take this as an example and they can later adapt this behavior themselves. In an authoritarian or harsh environment, someone can experience feelings of anger and aggressive behavior under pressure from the majority.
Heat or bustle can also cause feelings of irritation or anger. For example, a house party where drugs are also used can lead to aggression. Moreover, it is known that alcohol lowers the threshold to react aggressively.
What can you expect with anger?
Expressing your anger is a natural, healthy response that is needed to balance your emotional life. It is important that you put the anger on that or that which has made you angry. What matters is that you respect your own feelings: it is your feeling and you do not have to be ashamed of it. It is good if you make it clear to the other person that his behavior has hurt you and why. In addition, it is important that you try to empathize with the feelings of the person who made you angry. If you consider how the other person meant something, you might be able to better understand the situation.
If after feeling your anger you feel better without hurting the other person, then you can assume that you are dealing with healthy anger. If you do not express your anger, it can start to eat on yourself. Pent-up anger can lead to self-damaging behavior, such as biting nails or cutting yourself. If you often swallow the things that are important to you, you can eventually become depressed.
It is also possible that after the umpteenth frustration you ‘explode’: becoming terribly angry, while it was just a small thing. Then it is no longer clear to yourself and others why you were actually angry. If you turn anger into destructive aggressive behavior, it can destroy the bond between people. Deliberately inflicting suffering or pain is called destructive aggression. With revenge, the anger continues to haunt you, so that you continue to feel that you have to pay the other person.
It is also possible that your anger is directed at something or someone else, such as bullying innocent others. Expressing aggression is not good for yourself and others if it is not constructive. If you become aggressive in response to a threat, then this is called reactive aggression. Consider, for example, grabbing a pickpocket.
When to the doctor?
If you suffer from your anger for a long time because you cannot express it in a healthy way, you can go to the doctor for advice. The advice will often consist of a referral to a psychologist. There are also courses for learning social skills or assertiveness.
What can you do about it yourself?
- If your anger comes at an inconvenient point in time, you can try to turn it into something else. For example, you can hit a pillow. Or you can write an angry letter to that person but not send it. You can then read that letter later and deduce from it how (un) reasonable your anger is.
- Understanding works wonders, but it needs some time. If you examine your own feelings and then those of others, a lot of anger can be soothed with that. For example, you can try to formulate a hurtful comment from someone else in your head in a different way so that it sounds less offensive.
- Try to express your frustration from yourself instead of blaming the other. For example: “I am angry, you think you hurt me.” Then the other person feels less attacked and a conversation is possible.
- If your anger turns into physical symptoms such as headaches, try to deal with your feelings differently next time. Use your physical feeling as a signal that you have to express your emotions.
- Alcohol lowers the threshold to react aggressively. If you are under the influence of alcohol, you should, therefore, avoid arguing. This also applies to talk out arguments.
General advice and precautions
Being angry is healthy if it doesn’t harm yourself and others. Expressing anger is something you have to learn. Everyone has their own sense of anger and is hurt or not by certain things. It can be difficult to let a feeling like anger run free. It means that you are hurt.
If you can get angry with the people in your area in an honest way, this will often strengthen the relationship afterward. With the expression of your anger, the pain that has been done to you often disappears. Finally, it is important to check whether your anger is reasonable.
Anger management in young people
Anger management in young people