Appearance of young people: What is it?
In our culture much attention is paid to appearance. The television overloads you daily with advertisements to look more beautiful, younger and slimmer. And if you have to believe the magazines, only beautiful people exist.
Young people are becoming increasingly aware of their appearance during puberty. For example, you notice that you are increasingly comparing yourself with others. In this way you try to form an opinion about your own appearance. Like everyone else, you too probably have the desire to be found handsome and attractive. And just like everyone else, you will sometimes feel insecure about it.
How do you rate your appearance?
Many young people do not feel beautiful or attractive. However, if you feel unattractive, that does not mean that you actually are.
Often people themselves have a lot more eye for the things they don’t like about themselves than others. For example, you see every pimple, every gram that you have arrived or the bags you have left after the exams. You may also feel lanky and uncomfortable on the dance floor, or you should blush if someone teases you.
You view other people more globally, which means much less detailed. In this way you tend to see their positive qualities in others. For example, you see how many friends that nice looking classmate has, or how many positive reactions that boy with those beautiful curls gets. What you may not know is that those you find handsome and attractive are also aware of every pimple in their face, and they too see their bags. They blush just like you when someone teases them, or are ashamed of the fact that one breast hangs more than the other.
In short, everyone sometimes feels unattractive and uncomfortable. That is why everyone can occasionally use a helping hand. It is important to know that especially your own feeling about your attractiveness determines how attractive others find you.
How do we assess the appearance of others?
In general, the regularity of a person’s face determines how ‘handsome’ someone is. That means that a symmetrical face is often found beautiful.
However, there are major differences per culture, which is considered beautiful. Everything about your body changes during puberty. For example, girls get more fatty tissue on the hips, abdomen, and buttocks. Boys in puberty often get beard growth. Only after puberty is the body fully grown and has it taken on a certain shape.
People you think are handsome often do not seem to have any physical complaints (such as acne). However, that does not mean that they will never be bothered by it: after all, every person has his or her flaws and nobody is perfect. And, more importantly, there is something beautiful about every person!
Appearance In the end it is often the appearance of someone who determines whether someone is attractive or not. People who are found attractive are often assertive. That means they have confidence and power to stand up for themselves. You can read more about this in the information brochure ‘Lack of self-confidence’.
When someone is happy and satisfied with themselves and radiates confidence, it appears that this person is often seen as attractive. You can see that someone has self-confidence, for example, about their smile, the position of the head and body and healthy skin. If you want to radiate more self-confidence, you can work on it yourself.
What can you do about it yourself?
It is therefore important that you gain self-confidence and that it will radiate naturally. You will notice from the reactions of others that they find you more attractive.
Gaining self-confidence can help you, for example, by talking to friends about your appearance. There are certain characteristics that you find very beautiful and that you were not aware of. You can also stand in front of the mirror and smile at yourself, instead of being so critical of yourself.
By exercising and exercising, for example dancing, you improve your circulation and you will soon look healthier. Moreover, exercising often makes you feel satisfied and others will see that.
More things that can help you gain self-confidence are: trying not to worry too much, getting enough sleep, having fun, drinking enough water, good hygiene, getting a lot of fresh air (being outside), eating and drinking healthy, not smoking and possibly use make-up if you feel more comfortable about it. It is a cliché, but no less true: beauty comes primarily from within. For example, you may notice that you feel less beautiful at school than on vacation. That’s because you’re probably more relaxed on vacation. This way you see that appearance depends on your mood and the company you are in.
In new situations you can choose to present yourself with flair, instead of withdrawing. If you approach people more often, you will discover that they respond to you in a normal and fun way.
When to seek help?
If you have made an effort to gain more confidence in yourself, but you continue to feel insecure about your appearance, then that is very annoying. The best thing to do is to always take a step: after all, you are the only one who can change your feelings about yourself.
If you don’t like something specific about your body, such as your nose, you
ears or your breasts, that can be a big problem for you. Some young people even avoid certain situations because of this, to prevent others from finding them beautiful or even ugly.
When you start to feel really unhappy as a result of your physical complaint, it is sometimes possible to get a referral to the plastic surgeon from your doctor. The plastic surgeon may change what you don’t like about your body.
It is important to remember that such an operation is final: it can never be reversed. Moreover, surgery is often drastic and never pleasant to undergo. The plastic surgeon rather treats people who suffer physically from their complaint. For example, if your breasts are so heavy that you suffer from your back and cannot exercise. Or for example if you have such floppy ears that sleeping on your ears hurts. The doctor will keep asking about your reasons for wanting to change your face or body.
During and often after puberty so much changes in your body that the doctor will often give you support in building self-confidence rather than in changing your body.
General advice and precautions
An assertiveness course can increase your self-confidence. You can register for such a course through your doctor. The eye doctor, dentist, psychologist, beautician, hairdresser, clothing advisors, physical therapists (for your posture) and general practitioner may also be able to help you. They can indicate what is beautiful about you and how you can emphasize that. It is important to realize that nobody feels beautiful anytime, anywhere. And gaining confidence, the best solution is to discover that you are beautiful the way you are.
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